Annoying Co-Worker Type #4: The “Workin’ Hard or Hardly Workin’?” Guy: An Office Spy?

Every office has one. Sometimes even more than one, which is unfortunate because one is plenty. Sometimes it’s a guy and sometimes it’s a gal. Either way, there’s no escaping the fact that we, as members of Cube Society (or as Cube Farmers, if you prefer), need a way of telling these annoying creatures to stop asking one of the most bothersome questions many workers hear way too often. That’s right; I’m referring to the ubiquitous office guy who walks around and asks, “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” Most of the time, the person will follow the question up with a quick laugh and maybe even a wink of the eye just to signal that they’re giving you a hard time. Or are they? One would think the offending person would grow tired of asking the same question repeatedly to his office mates. Perhaps there is some deeper-rooted intention, bordering on sinister, behind these seemingly innocent ‘office surveyors’.

Either way, the question stopped being funny the fifth time you were asked, which was likely by the time you had finished your second day on the job. We’ve all played nice and laughed and maybe even shuffled our feet coyly as we answered back with a fake laugh and a “Workin’ hard!” And some of us, myself included, have replied with the classic wink and a point of the index finger as if shooting a gun (which is ironic considering we often do want to shoot the annoying person in the ass) as if to say, “Good one, Tom!” What we’re actually thinking, however, is “Quit asking me that damn question, Tom, you annoying ^&%!” Because really, sometimes you are working hard and once in awhile you are hardly working. It seems that if Tom (insert your annoying office person’s name here) really wanted to know the answer, he would just casually observe you and then, after a few moments of observation, conclude that you were either working hard or (big sigh) hardly workin’. Unfortunately, though, Tom wants (needs is more appropriate) to interact with you or anyone else that will respond to his question and thus the question gets asked. Repeatedly.

Do You Have an Office Spy?
Now, some of these office surveyors really do have nothing better to do than to annoy you, but others may not be so innocent. For example, consider the office gal who seems to casually walk around and ask only certain people the aforementioned annoying question. Now, maybe, just maybe, she has been asked by someone up the chain of command to “check in” on a co-worker of yours who has either responded with “hardly working” a few too many times or is being considered for a possible upcoming layoff. The woman asking the question, we’ll call her Terri, is every bit annoying as our buddy Tom but her purpose is much more focused and menacing. She, in fact, often doesn’t care what a person’s reply to her question is because she’s out for blood. She wants to show her worth as an employee and, therefore, is determined to report to management that the person in question isn’t working hard and, indeed, said person seems to be “hardly working” every time Terri walks by. To Terri’s great disappointment, management will hopefully consider much more than her office spying feedback before laying off an employee, so there’s no need to worry that responding to these company surveyors will cost you your job… for now anyway.

If this particular column can provide you and other fellow Cube Farmers with a laugh then we’ve accomplished our primary goal. If you can find a way to share this article with the “Tom” and “Terri” of your office, then perhaps they will understand how annoying their questions are to answer and that you’re “onto them” and maybe they’ll stop asking the question entirely. Ultimately, that would be a great accomplishment for all of us!